I heard once that we are the composite of the five people we spend the most time with. When you’re aiming to live a true, extraordinary life, you want those five people to be intentional and be positive, supportive, and humble in their own right. You can't be living your best life if your inner circle is made up of Debbie Downers.Read More
Just as much as the holiday season can bring a sense of cheer and generosity, it can also bring a sense of dread and bitterness as we walk into environments that are highly emotionally charged.
This year will be my 6th sober Thanksgiving and Christmas. There are a few things I’ve learned over these last few years that have allowed me to actually enjoy this special time of year and feel jolly during most of it. Or if nothing else, it just sucks less.Read More
Too hard. This is one I hear often as a lifestyle coach. That the process of self-growth is or is going to be just too damn hard. And maybe they’re not up for the challenge or don’t think they have what it takes. It’s just gonna take too long, and also it probably won’t work, they say.
New story: I am stronger than my struggle and I am worth the work it takes. I’ve survived every hard day of my life so far, and I will survive more. The chasm between surviving and thriving is faith.Read More
I had a history of picking guys that weren’t the best for me, always falling for the underdogs and the fixer-uppers. The bad boys who take no self-responsibility with lots of problems but lots of potential. The more problems, the better. I loved a challenge. The “tough cases” in the eyes of a therapist are exactly the guys I wanted to date. Emotionally unavailable? Yes please.Read More
Learning about what Gary Chapman has termed "The 5 Love Languages" has revolutionized my life. When I started to understand, truly understand, that there are various ways to speak love, outside of saying "I love you," my relationships felt injected with pure hope. I began to adopt this much broader view of love and all of it's expressions.Read More
If you are constantly feeling jealous, it means you’re not taking time to cultivate and appreciate your own gifts & strengths.
And especially important—their compliment is not your insult.Read More
I believe what Albert Einstein said with my whole heart:
"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
Socially anxious sober folk: The brain chatter that usually disappears with a drink is going to actually be there, but you have the power to quiet it down yourself. Arrive to the event as centered as possible by having some time to yourself beforehand (i.e. quick meditation/quiet time, listening to happy music on the drive/walk/ride over or listening to a motivational tape, etc.)Read More
After breakfast comes a moment of pause as I am faced with the two diverged roads. I can head right into my workday with a frenzied mentality and get suffocated by my email inbox and my lengthy to-do list. Or—I can take a few minutes to do some deep-breathing & sit quietly, a.k.a. meditation. I refer to meditation as my “adult time-out.”
Because just like a child’s time-out, if I don’t take a breather and carve out some space to be still & breathe, then I am susceptible to being cranky, unruly, and acting on my every emotion under stress.Read More
My sordid past includes relationships with men that were quite unhealthy. Ones that were highly codependent and lacked simple boundaries. I essentially attracted what I was: sick and lost.
I spotted the guy who would "co-sign" my bullshit cause I would co-sign his. I found guys that needed someone to worship them. Worship I did.Read More
A single woman in her prime stands out as an outlier and it feels a little alienating. And I think there’s a tendency to wonder why we’ve been single for what seems like centuries, what must be wrong with us?
I’ve learned that I am enough for me. Period. No man decides and determines my worth as a woman. I don't need a man to tell me I'm beautiful because I tell myself that. And I have never felt more empowered or attractive than I do right now, utterly manless and unspoken for.Read More
I've had episodes of depression that I thought would never pass. The majority of times I fell into the rabbit hole, I hated myself for falling. So I added hatred, guilt, and shame on top of the depression, which is not hard to do in a depressed state of mind. But it's oh so unproductive. Who cares though? I didn't. When you're depressed, you just dgaf (don't give a f*ck), about anything.Read More