Posts in recovery
Relationships 101: People-Pleasing and Pedestaling

My sordid past includes relationships with men that were quite unhealthy. Ones that were highly codependent and lacked simple boundaries. I essentially attracted what I was: sick and lost.

I spotted the guy who would "co-sign" my bullshit cause I would co-sign his. I found guys that needed someone to worship them. Worship I did. 

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5 Unexpectedly Awesome Lessons I Learned From Being Single (And Celibate) for 5 Years

A single woman in her prime stands out as an outlier and it feels a little alienating. And I think there’s a tendency to wonder why we’ve been single for what seems like centuries, what must be wrong with us?

I’ve learned that I am enough for me. Period. No man decides and determines my worth as a woman. I don't need a man to tell me I'm beautiful because I tell myself that. And I have never felt more empowered or attractive than I do right now, utterly manless and unspoken for. 

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Why Being in Addiction Recovery Could be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

One of the ways I honor my recovery is by understanding that I cannot underestimate the value of a positive ripple effect. Everything I do and say matters, and is, in effect, a pebble in a pond. I can contribute to society or I can partake in the decline of it. 

Being in recovery from addiction does not have to mean your life is over. Actually, it could very well mean your life has just begun. 

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Don't take what's not yours (including other people's shit) : boundaries

There's that saying, "what we allow is what will continue." It is 100% accurate, in my experience. If I don't want other people to give me their shit, I don't take it. I don't accept shit gifts. I kindly say, no thanks. And walk away. I also try not to give shit gifts to anyone else. I take ownership of my own stuff and let others take ownership of theirs. 

Noone has the ability to MAKE YOU FEEL any which way, unless you hand over your rights and let them. This reminds me of another good one-liner, "if you don't want people to drive you crazy, don't give them they keys."

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Yoga as Medicine

As trendy as yoga has become—with Lululemon symbols peppering any yoga studio room, I really hope I never lose sight of the true gift that this practice has given me. Yoga comes from a Sanskrit word that means “to yoke, unite, or bind” and that it has—yoked my mind, body, and spirit into one.

This is why it is medicine to me. It’s not just a place to sport expensive luon and symbolic body ink, fly into crows and hop into headstands, chant “oms,” and utter “namastes”—it’s my church and my temple. It's a place to come home to me. 

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The Alchemy of Addiction

I consider my experience with addiction to be one of the best things to ever happen to me. Truly. Because had I not seen how messy and unmanageable my way of living had become, I never would have transformed it. And the transformation process is everything. I think I was only shown my weaknesses so I could overcome and transcend them. 

So what I am proposing is a simple alchemical reframe to turn our most negative qualities into our most positive ones. Alchemizing our character liabilities into our greatest assets. 

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When you feel all the feels

It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be hurt & cry. It's okay to feel all the feels. The only emotion I believe serves no real purpose is shame.

I just had a really rough day yesterday, and quite frankly, a difficult last week. I cried so many tears my eyeballs were sore and red and I felt exhausted, like a child after they've had such an intense tantrum that they pass out. Not to be dramatic, or anything. 

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One of the BEST anti-depressants not on the market

It’s free, easy, quick, and simple. It’s life-altering and mood-enhancing. “It turns whatever you have into enough,” says Melody Beattie.

When I found myself in a very deep and dark black-hole depression in the fall of 2014, I vowed to do everything within my power to never end up in that place again. I was already practicing many healthy habits, but I promised I would do whatever else I could to stay in the light.

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SELF-LOVE: what it is and how to do it

Where on earth does one get this self-love you speak of? I thought to myself. Can I get it at the store? Is it something I can order off Amazon with free prime shipping? 

We are born with self-love, and then we learn fear as we grow up. We learn to fear our power and doubt our abilities, and some of us learn to neglect, abuse, and hate ourselves, our bodies. So much so that we participate in destroying ourselves. A lot of us learn negative self-talk which is equally destructive. But no matter how we got this way, it remains our choice whether we choose to heal and be kind to ourselves, from this day forward. 

On a very fundamental & intuitive level, when we remember our child within, it deters us from treating him or her badly. It deters us from calling ourselves dumb or ugly or fat or worthless. Because what we are doing to ourselves, we are, in essence, doing to our inner children. 

 

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THE SOBERING TRUTH ABOUT ADDICTION

The social & mental health issue of addiction is sweeping our nation, and it’s high time we stop sweeping it under the rug. Some of us only feel free to talk in shrinks offices or church basements, if we’re lucky. By the way, I love church basements.

But I will not be silent. And I am not anonymous. 

We don’t necessarily choose to be addicted. But we do choose to recover. 

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