Just as much as the holiday season can bring a sense of cheer and generosity, it can also bring a sense of dread and bitterness as we walk into environments that are highly emotionally charged.
This year will be my 6th sober Thanksgiving and Christmas. There are a few things I’ve learned over these last few years that have allowed me to actually enjoy this special time of year and feel jolly during most of it. Or if nothing else, it just sucks less.
Read MoreToo hard. This is one I hear often as a lifestyle coach. That the process of self-growth is or is going to be just too damn hard. And maybe they’re not up for the challenge or don’t think they have what it takes. It’s just gonna take too long, and also it probably won’t work, they say.
New story: I am stronger than my struggle and I am worth the work it takes. I’ve survived every hard day of my life so far, and I will survive more. The chasm between surviving and thriving is faith.
Read MoreEmotions are messengers, carrying to us information that is essential for our bodies, minds, and spirits to process. How convenient is this? Our very own information-carriers working to help us make sense of the world around and within us. Feelings are not necessarily facts, but they are worth being aware of and paying some gentle attention to.
Read MoreLearning about what Gary Chapman has termed "The 5 Love Languages" has revolutionized my life. When I started to understand, truly understand, that there are various ways to speak love, outside of saying "I love you," my relationships felt injected with pure hope. I began to adopt this much broader view of love and all of it's expressions.
Read MoreIf you are constantly feeling jealous, it means you’re not taking time to cultivate and appreciate your own gifts & strengths.
And especially important—their compliment is not your insult.
Read MoreEveryone gets their own calls. The question remains: will you pick up the phone or pretend it's not ringing?
Read MoreSocially anxious sober folk: The brain chatter that usually disappears with a drink is going to actually be there, but you have the power to quiet it down yourself. Arrive to the event as centered as possible by having some time to yourself beforehand (i.e. quick meditation/quiet time, listening to happy music on the drive/walk/ride over or listening to a motivational tape, etc.)
Read MoreAfter breakfast comes a moment of pause as I am faced with the two diverged roads. I can head right into my workday with a frenzied mentality and get suffocated by my email inbox and my lengthy to-do list. Or—I can take a few minutes to do some deep-breathing & sit quietly, a.k.a. meditation. I refer to meditation as my “adult time-out.”
Because just like a child’s time-out, if I don’t take a breather and carve out some space to be still & breathe, then I am susceptible to being cranky, unruly, and acting on my every emotion under stress.
Read Moreyoutube video!
Read MoreA single woman in her prime stands out as an outlier and it feels a little alienating. And I think there’s a tendency to wonder why we’ve been single for what seems like centuries, what must be wrong with us?
I’ve learned that I am enough for me. Period. No man decides and determines my worth as a woman. I don't need a man to tell me I'm beautiful because I tell myself that. And I have never felt more empowered or attractive than I do right now, utterly manless and unspoken for.
Read MorePerfectionism, attachment to outcome & results, wanting to get it RIGHT, thinking we are defined by our jobs--this is our ego. Our spirit, our soul, doesn't care about results or what we look like on paper. The ego wants to be "good at it," but the spirit could care less and just loves the process. Our spirit craves adventure and new learning experiences. This is why "failure" is good for the soul. These experiences grow us.
If we can reframe all our "failures" as opportunities to learn, well, I deem that a success. Welcome failure as your teacher. It means opportunity is at the door. It means something is about to be learned or about to change. Failure is character-building at it's very finest.
Read MoreThere's that saying, "what we allow is what will continue." It is 100% accurate, in my experience. If I don't want other people to give me their shit, I don't take it. I don't accept shit gifts. I kindly say, no thanks. And walk away. I also try not to give shit gifts to anyone else. I take ownership of my own stuff and let others take ownership of theirs.
Noone has the ability to MAKE YOU FEEL any which way, unless you hand over your rights and let them. This reminds me of another good one-liner, "if you don't want people to drive you crazy, don't give them they keys."
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